A letter that I wrote to my friend Carlo was a nice chance to sum up what I've done this year so far. This is the English transcript of the most interesting parts of the email I sent him in early August.
Hey man!
Please, forgive me if I'm late writing this letter! I wanted to write earlier but recently I couldn't focus my mind on anything else but my work…
However, I decided to take a rest till late August and I'm going to send you an email as first thing. To be honest I wrote quite a lot but I hope it will be interesting to read it.
It's weird to think that last time we met it was more than a year ago while we were both in London. In these days last year I was moving for a month to your room in Brighton Road. I feel that I grew up a lot since that time…
When you wrote me last month I was in London, again. Actually, since I came back home last year in September I went back to London every two months to visit art schools and universities. In fact, this past June I visited the last university left on my list and the time for the big decision has come.
Let me say that all the things I did in the last twelve months began in a lucky week in September 2012 when one of the three world's most important art fairs offered me a job (Frieze Art Fair London) and a painting of mine was selected for the annual exhibition of a Brooklyn-based non-profit institution called NurtureArt. Sending my first painting to America made me think I was doing great. However, the real turning point for my present and future professional career was working at Frieze London in October.
Frieze is one of those places where it does not matter how you got there but you know that in those five days of the year the best, the most important, the rightest people will be there. In the journalism field Frieze could be compared to The New York Times or BBC maybe… I don't know… you must know it better than me :)
Encouraged by my experience at Frieze I sent and actually got published some reviews of mine on a couple of Italian online art magazine and from then I started two regular collaboration: the first one is with Artribune (the most popular Italian news website which is based in Rome) and JulietArtMagazine.com, the newly born website of paper magazine Juliet.
I published about twenty reviews so far and I also went around in Italy to meet cool people. I've been to Padua, Turin, Bologna, several times to Milan and even Rome. Also in May I've been to Venice where I was the correspondent for JulietArtMagazine.com from this year Venice Biennale! To be honest, I lived that experience as a life achievement :)
However, that was the cool side. There was another less cool side. From October 2012 to May 2013 I never been at home for more than three weeks in a row, I was often on a plane to London or on a train to somewhere in northern Italy. I was surrounded by people and alone at the same time, always speaking to people older than me – sharing with them my interests – but none of them was actually a real friend of mine. So, I started to feel very lonely and that feeling affected me for a couple of months.
And it is not matter of money. I'm not paid for what I write but I knew that rule from the beginning and I accepted it when I decided to play this game. When I decided to postpone my application to uni in London because I did not feel ready as an artist I could not do anything else except investing my time in meeting people that could support my artistic career in the future. And I would say I've been successful, now people I was dreaming to work with write to me, know me, invite me, work with me as colleagues. This makes me happy and proud even if I can't have a regular salary.
In other words, while I was traveling I felt as I did not have any friend of mine interested in what I was doing. I'm not talking about those new friends I met, I mean one of those friends that have known me for a long time, since before the moment I started this new path. I almost don't know anything about my old friends' recent activities, none of them seems to be interested in contemporary art as much as I am anymore. Most of them found their places away from those subjects we studied at high school and university. From my point of view they seem to be far away from my nomadic and sometimes international experiences…
Sometimes I feel that the only two people that can understand my feelings are you and Martina. In my opinion we did better than the others and you even got a job on TV!
She has been around as well recently: Rome, Turin, France, and last month she moved to Switzerland. A couple of months ago we were at home, both back from our experiences abroad. We met and talked about what we did in the last year and a half. She understand me as no one else. And it might be the reason why my sense of nostalgia seemed to get strong since then. I felt sad thinking at those girls I hanged out with between London and Italy in recent times – I don't find them as much interesting as Martina was and still is.
However, she got a new swiss boyfriend. At the same time she couldn't find any proper job in Italy so she decided to move abroad. I knew she is brave and I wish her a very bright future. We promised each other to keep in touch.
Fuck off then! That thing made me feel very bad. Double fuck off! I'm not used to give up, so I put my ass on my bike and biking helped me a lot. For four months now I went biking every day, I lost four kilograms and now I feel better than ever. I got interested in fitness and I exercise at least a hour every day. Perhaps I just had to stop for a moment and listen to my body.
I am serene now. I never lost my enthusiasm but I must admit that sometimes it was hard to keep my mind focused on the right things to do! However, I am still on the track. I worked (and also suffered I'd say) a lot and the big moment has come.
I looked inside myself and I felt it was the moment. I did't write reviews for magazines for a while and in this past month I only focused myself on the creation of new artworks that I will include in my portfolio to apply to uni. Last week I also presented my works to an international curator that I've followed for many years now and I got positive feedbacks. I reached him through my activity as art journalist and now everything seems to make sense to me…
And here I am, back from a year-long full immersion but from today I'll be off at least till the end of August. The next deadline that I already have clear on my mind is next January when it'll be time to apply to the MA in Fine Art. That will be my ultimate test. If I will be successful I will achieve my aim and I will study in London from Sep 2014.
On the other hand, if my work won't be good enough to enter uni I won't be sad. I like to have a couple of B-plans that I like as well. Contemporary art is not just an interest anymore for me, it is the environment in which I breath and I know how to breath and I won't go away from it. But now I have to think step by step, I didn't get the IELTS yet and I will need it within January, so I got the next thing to do.
I could tell you thousands of other stories but the email is getting long enough, I guess. We didn't meet for such a long time! Forgive me if reading this email will take a bit more than usual. However, I know you like long letters and I needed to write all these things that I couldn't share with many people in recent times.
Before ending the letter, let me say that I agree with what you write in your email. I love Italy very much too. After my last wet summer in London I decided to spend this summer at home and you're right saying that our colorful Italian countryside is beautiful. I can see it every day while biking. Spending summer time in my native small village with my family helped my health, I'm sure.
end of Part 1
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